Your thankful tank. Full, half full or empty?
“There is always something to be thankful for.”
Really? Try living in my world.
If you knew my situation, how could you exuberantly recite the ‘always be thankful’ mantra? I can barely maintain a stable mindset, much less be thankful. I’m not sure I’m even thankful to be alive. Of course, I’m thankful for the blessings I’ve been given, food and shelter. But I just can’t utter thankfulness for what has just happened. I am trying. I am crying out to God; hearing no answers.
“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning? Oh my God! I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, but I find no rest nor quiet.” Psalms 22:1 NIV, Psalms 22:2 Amplified
Go back with me to a time of major depressive disorder in my life, of which there have been multiple ones. I was in a dark, hopeless pit. I called the co-founder of a local mental health organization, The Grace Alliance. I disconnected the call before they answered. I was scared to talk. Several minutes later, my phone rang. “Bonnie, did you just call?” “Yes, I did…I’m really struggling and I can’t get any relief.” “I suggest that you lie down, take some deep breaths, put on some peaceful music and just talk to God. Be honest. Tell him your desperate state. He is right there with you, He knows you’re hurting.” I took him at his word. The calming music began soaking into my spirit, my vocal cords uttered cries to God. “I’m really struggling Lord, why haven’t you answered my prayers for healing? Please help me! I’m pretty angry at you God.”
God listened, I knew He heard me. I wasn’t instantly healed. I did have a small measure of peace come to me. I could offer thanks to Him.
Reach out for help. God may have someone waiting to listen to your cries for help; waiting to bring you hope. You are not alone in your pain, others are right in the boat with you. Others are waiting to extend a life raft to save you. You can then offer thanks.
